


The Book of Wincest revised....Crack!fic

by millygal



Category: Fandom RPF, Supernatural
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-03
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-02-11 14:36:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,113
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2071950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/millygal/pseuds/millygal





	1. Chapter 1

This is so very not my fault *ahem* [](http://jj1564.livejournal.com/profile)[**jj1564**](http://jj1564.livejournal.com/) *ahem*...and full to the b **rim** with blasphemy! :D So read at you're own risk ;) She and I were having a little chinwag over at [](http://spn-hallelujah.livejournal.com/profile)[**spn_hallelujah**](http://spn-hallelujah.livejournal.com/) and she told me she used to teach Sunday school, which just got us waxing lyrical about the fact that spn fandom research can go from, and I quote, "I find that's the beauty of SPN fandom research, one moment I'm looking up hymns, the next I'm watching gay porn!"

So CRACK!

**Watch out for the lightning!**   


  
(Setting the scene; Sunday morning worship within the Supernatural fandom, all manner of fangirls gathered together to give thanks for those men so finely sculpted by god and their ability to turn us into a pile of goo with a flick of their tongues or a waggle of their eyebrows)

Milly steps up to the pulpit and smiles at her congregation, "Morning my flock, I hope last weeks sermon; **_'Ten uses for Dean Winchester's tongue,'_** is having a positive affect on your writing skills. Now let's hand over to our much loved and very skilled sinspiration speaker of the week; _jj1564_."

[](http://jj1564.livejournal.com/profile)[**jj1564**](http://jj1564.livejournal.com/) : "And lo Dean knelt upon his knees, his arms raised in supplication. He opened his mouth in praise and placed his hands together around his brothers huge.....**struck by lightning**."

Milly clears away the ashes of her fallen sister with a heavy heart, and motions for the next speaker to rise.

[](http://alexisjane.livejournal.com/profile)[**alexisjane**](http://alexisjane.livejournal.com/) : "Glory and praise be to Dean, for he is the man who can turn his brother into a drooling mess with his ability to breathe through his ears and twist his ten inch tongue into amazing sh....**struck by lightning**."

Sighing heavily and shaking her head, Milly allows a moments thought for yet another lost soul before nodding towards the next, by now very nervous looking, Sunday worshipper.

[](http://wendy.livejournal.com/profile)[**wendy**](http://wendy.livejournal.com/) : "And Sam, the boy king, said unto me, "The taste of Dean's spunk is the sweetest you will ever...**struck by lightning**."

The ridiculously huge burn mark now fizzing and popping at Milly's feet, is yet another sign that the believers in the book of Wincest have a long way to go to be understood by all. Bowing her head and whispering words of prayer, Milly motions silently for wings128 to step up to the lectern.

[](http://wings128.livejournal.com/profile)[**wings128**](http://wings128.livejournal.com/) : "My prayers have been answered, I have felt the hot breath of the Brothers Winchester upon my naked flesh and it brought me to my knees. For they are the holy, and the miracle and **struck by lightning**.

Milly watches her congregation slowly lean backwards in their seats as she raises an eyebrow, letting her gaze fall on each and everyone of them before settling on big_heart_june.

Braving the still smoking carpet, June steps round the crackling blackened floor before raising her face to the heavens.

[](http://big-heart-june.livejournal.com/profile)[**big_heart_june**](http://big-heart-june.livejournal.com/) : "Look, no offence Castiel, but we're only trying to worship here, any particular reason you keep smokin' us one by one?!?"

No answer is forthcoming, and so she steps aside and allows Milly her place in front of the ever dwindling group of woman all covering their heads with their hands.

[](http://milly-gal.livejournal.com/profile)[**milly_gal**](http://milly-gal.livejournal.com/): "Lest we forget our sisters, taken from us in a moment of true supplication, I here by take up the book of Wincest and return to psalm eight, 'Lo he walk through the shadow of the valley of nekkid Sammy, let him feel no judgement, for he is Dean, the almighty brother fuc....**ZAPPPP**."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thank you jj1564 for the amusement and the silly amounts of mirth filled tears running down my face, lol.  



	2. Sequel to the very cracky, Book of Wincest Revised!

Lest We Forget...

A group of very sombre fangirls all gather in groups around a room strewn with fandom memorabilia and pictures of their fallen sisters.

big_heart_june raises a glass to the heavens and nods slowly, fond smile gracing her lips, "Let us remember those ladies cruelly taken from us, smote by the jealousy of Castiel who should know better than to allow a group of fangirls into heaven all at once. I hope they're raising a little hell and giving the feathered trench coat wearing one a good kick in the halo for being so childish."

stir_of_echoes takes up the toast with a sneaky glint in her eye, "You know there's a distinct possibility that he'll get so fed up of being followed round by heckling lasses with insatiable appetites he might just have to escape down here more often. Two birds, one stone!"

They all chuckle and grin, remembering how badly jj1564 has been meaning to find out what's underneath Cas's Columbo coat!

A lazy wind wafts through the room, surprising the women all smiling at the memory of their gone but not forgotten Wincester Sisters. No windows are open and the doors are shut up tight, so the swift gust that knocks over the picture of milly_gal makes everyone jump and spin in circles, looking for the source of the eerie whistling breeze.

On the back of the picture, scrawled in Milly's distinct hand, is a note;

'Ladies, don't be sad.

The Brothers Winchester are as we speak, on their way to mourn our loss. Castiel's way of saying how sorry he is for zapping the lot of us.

Now, if you're quick you can set up the traps we talked about, and you'll have yourselves a fantastic evening!

alexisjane also wanted me to add that the stash of 'toys' she keeps for just such an occasion is in the bottom of the left hand kitchen cupboard. Don't hurt yourselves!

Ash says hey and he's just about to take us on a tour of every fallen soldier from the fandom. We'll give Bobby a hug for all of you and there's a real chance I might be going on a date with John Winchester. I mean, I know he's not Dean, but he'll do for keeping a girl busy! ;)

wings128 is currently stepping out with a man that looks scarily like Ronon Dex, only he's got guy-liner, tattoos, and a skirt on, and I've never seen a braid that long in my LIFE!

P.S wendy wants you to tell Sam, he owes her a little soulless role play the next time he pops up here *grins*'

The room erupts into a flurry of activity as supernutjapan and dizzojay flip switches, turning the once fairly polite looking space into what can only be described as a dungeon with dancing cages and nets ready to catch the unsuspecting Winchesters.

blackrabbit42: "Shhh, I think I hear them. Ready ladies, quick, plaid shirts and pie underneath the boxes! Grab the string...wait for it!"

"Son of a BITCH!"


End file.
